Please take a look at the following video, which is an interpretation of John Donne’s “A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning.” After viewing the video and digesting the poem, put yourself in the position of the female role being addressed by the speaker. Do you think the speaker is a witty and charming person? Is he convincing? Or if you were the lady being addressed by the speaker, what would be your reaction? Would you like to be a stay-at-home wife, while your husband happily “roams” outside and claims that he still loves you?
33 comments:
You know what? I'm pretty sick and tired of being a needle all the time. I'm thinking to have a home party while my husband is "roaming" outside. How's that sound?
John Donne uses the two compasses to describe the close relationship between them. While he is trying to persuade his woman, I have another explanation to these lines. He is just trying to keep his woman's mouth shut. In the video, it uses a scissors to show the positions between them. The woman is the center, and he is the one who can roam outside. He claims that he loves her, and he understand his woman cares about him very much(the leaning). I think he is trying to save a spare tire for himself. That's why he makes up this beautiful excuse to cheat his woman.
If my hubsband really loves me, he shouldn't tell me to just stay at home all the time.
While he's "roaming" outside, he should be aware of me, too. I could just find someone else who's much better than he is. Or, I could live perfectly without him.
I think the last two stanzas are the key to the poem and convey all the feelings of the poet. He used the compasses to state how their relationship functions. Just like the speaker said it's really too metaphysical to understand. Therefore, the speaker used scissors to interpret the meaning of compasses the poet tried to show. We can easily realize that his wife's firmness is the centre of his world and makes his circle just. No matter how far he runs away or what happens to him they can still meet each other in the end. In sum, the poet indirectly restricts the thoughts of his wife with his literary words. He slyly employs those words to deceive his wife and the reader how he love his wife. It might cause his wife couldn't live without him because of his sweet words. CLICHE!
I agree with what "petite princess"said that the man make his wife as the center of his life, and I think it might be the most important part to move his wife's heart. If my husband told me those words, then I will belive that he loves me from his heart ,even though that he may still happily “roams” outside.However, I may tell him that I will always on his side 24/7,nomatter where he is. It is because that we are "a scissors" , we should always stay together in every monent.
I strongly agree with Joy's idea. If my husband really loves me, why he can happily "roam" outside, and lets me stay at home alone. Obviously,he thinks that it is much more happier to roam outside than stay at home with me. Since he doesn't love me, why I should wait for him. Probably, I will be happier and have a better life without him.
This is a show of true love in a successful marriage(if there is such a thing). The trust and love they have for each other makes the husband stay in the circle(meaning no affairs?) and the wife awaits for the moment when they become a "dot" again. But this kinda shows the stereotypical image of how women are the ones that should stay put, do chores, keep the house tidy, chill at home or whatever.
I think that John donne is really both wise and charming. By useing the compass , he really do a good interpretation with the realtionship between the wife and husbandand. If I was John's wife, I think I would agree his behaviors because this poem give me a competent excuse that is so sweetly and honeyed that I can not refuse him. I just think the metaphor is really beautiful and wonderul, and the poem do give me a strong endearment and convince me just being a stay-at-home wife if i was a women.
I don't want to be a stay-at-home wife, while my husband happily roams outside and claims that he still loves me! I think that way of doing is selfish and is unfair for a stay-at-home woman. At worst both of us just roam outside and say that we really love each other.
I think that the speaker is a witty but not charming person. For me, it's not necessary for my husband and me to glue together all the time if he really loves me. However, if the situation is that the husband happily
“roams”outside and claims that he still loves his wife, then I will take what he says as bullshit. If I were the wife, I would live a life that I want for myself instead of being a stay-at-home wife, like a doll, doing nothing and just waiting and concerned about him.
uh...In my point of view, I really don't want a wife who views me as the center of her daily life. I think every one should be an independent individual, not merely an adjunct of one another.If "the center of your life" left you one day, you may probably not know what to do the next.That would be so pathetic.
i think in a healthy relationship the husband and wife should be equal, which means that if he can go out all the time i can do that too, he doesn't have the right to ground me in the house. but of course, this poem is pretty old, at that time equality wasn't in people's minds.... this kind of concept is appalling to modern females, poor women in the past!
I think John Donne is witty,for he use scissors to compare to he and his lover, telling her that no matter how far he goes, she is still the center of his world. It really move to me and I'll willingly to stay at home and wait for him. If I really love the man so much, I might believe what he says and stay at home;however,if I find out that he cheat on me, I will revenge on him in furious way.
if i am a wife,i would love him more than anything.i believe in one sentence,'there's always a thoughtful and patient woman behind a successful man.'maybe he just wants to have someone who loves him so much and always be there for him,giving support to him. therefore,communication is important for a couple to keep a good relationship. i could be the one that support him and care abt him,but i need some repect too. i hope he could love what i do and what i love. i will do the same thing to him too: )and most important thing, let me know he loves me no matter where he is.
I think that a perfect marriage should depend on trust so that the marriage can keep longer because the couple must be considerate of each other. Therefore,if I am a wife. Although my husband always roam outside, I will choose to believe his words as long as he says that he loves me from heart. But there is a minor premise, u have to ascertain that ur hasband is a good guy who is worthy of ur trust..................
John Donne is really a charming and witty man, his speech is so sweet. Maybe I'll be touch with his words. However, I don't think I will be a stay-at-home wife. I love and trust him, but I can't stay at home without him because I am afraid that he will leave me forever. I'll ask for "roaming" with him.
I think that both boys and girls want their lovers to be the center and depend on their lovers.
But we should keep in mind that sometime we should play the role of the center and give support to the one we love.
Only when the couple can trust, considerate each other and leave each other some space and freedom will happiness come.
The video is quite interesting because the speaker use the scissors to present the situation of the poem.
The example is extremely vivid. I think the wife really loves her husband and trust him. Although the husband roams around, the wife still believe and always stays at home. For me, I will let my love do what her want freely.
1. By using the image of compasses, we could tell that John Donne really can't live without his wife who plays a vital and inseparable role in his life.
("hemispheres", "makes a little room an everywhere" in "The Good Morrow" feels the same way as "compass")
2. If i were his wife, i'll appreciate his(thoutfulness) for leave me home alone. Because earn money is even harder and complicated than doing the chores. However, if I were John, i'd be in my wife's shoes. If she wants to "roaming" with me, why not?!
If I were his wife, I would not let my husband "roam" outside because I would have no sense of security and can not concentrate on everything. Moreover, if he roamed outside, I would have to shoulder the family liveihood and let me feel helpless.
There are two possible reasons that my husband may utter this kind of SWEET words.
The first one is that he really loves me but he is a control freak. Maybe he may get jealous if I talk with other men or simply smile politely to other men, just like the duch in Robert Browning's My Last Duchess. Although it's kind of crazy and abnormal, I know how deep his love is and that he can't live without me. In this case, I'll be so touched that I'm willing to submit to him. I'm willing to sacrifice my freedom.
However, if his sweet words which are trying to obtain my trust are mean to deceive me, I will not forgive him. I think most of the men in the world are this kind of despicable man(although I really want to say ALL OF men and call them bastard). They constrain their loverS, but have affairs and be obscene theirselves. I hope God can punish these men as soon as possible!
John Donne, to me, in the poem is just a selfish person. He put his woman in the center of their love(just like the center of compasses) and tried to make sense of his selfish love. I totally agree with the above that if a husband really loves his wife, he shouldn't leave her home all the time but roams outside. As for me, if my husband does that kind of suck things to me, I would definitely leave him and own a better life without such a self-centered person. However, on literary side, I think that I admire him a lot 'cause he use soft words to praise their love and even to rationalize his selfishness of his marriage.
I don'think it is fair when my husband says those words to me.
If he cares me very much,why he loves to roam outside instead at home with me.And why I should be a stay-at-home wife for him.Like Lena's opinion,a selfish guy.
I think a couple should trust each other. They have to treat each other honestly and leave each other a private space. Because our mind combined together, we understand each other. If we do not trust each other, this relationship will not be continued.
Sorry, it's "themselves"
I think the speaker is convincing the lady.The speaker thinks if the couple loved each other very much, it is ok whether their real body is together ot not. But as far as I am concerned, I don't want my lover says he loves me through telephone but he hugs another girl at the same time. And I don't like to be a stay-at-home wife because I believe that women can find better vaule in her own career and interpersonal relationship.
IF I WERE THE WIFE, I WON'T DO THE SAME THING WHAT THE WIFE DO. I THINK THAT'S TOO FOOLISH, I CAN'T BARE SUCH THING, I WILL DEFINITELY DIVORCE WITH HIM.
If i am the wife,i must be angry wuith my husband's action,alought John Donne uses the very great and special image about this relationship,but i just agree he in the poem,not in real life!
I think that I would not be limited and just do what I want to do. In other words,I would not choose that kind of husband in the beginning if I realised what he was.I believe that the relationship between husband and wife should be fair ,and the woman should not follow everthing by her husband.
I think this poem is beautiful and John Donne was really good at dealing with this kind of things.
I like it~ actually :)
i think the metophor of the separated lover is very special; it's a fresh anology. He insist that the center of the bow pen should stay and wait for its mate; this idea shows that a womam is a not individual at all y that time. that's not fair to a female. this idea may not be accepted by the modern women, but it was a matter of course in Donne's times. i believe that if Donne was a modern poet, he cannot write like that!
I don't think as a woman I would be willing to be that kind of one who endure this kind of lover, although the poem's really beautiful and somehow shakes my mind.
You write very well.
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