Bharati Mukherjee, the author of "The Management of Grief," was born in Calcutta in 1940. Traveling to the United States to study creative writing at the Iowa Writers' Workshop, she rebelled against her father's command to come back home and marry the man he selected for her when she fell in love with her classmate, Canadian writer Clark Blaise, and married him impulsively during her lunch break after only two weeks of courtship.
In "The Management of Grief," the topic of arranged marriage is one of the story's themes of cultural difference and dislocation. Here you can listen to Mukherjee's 2002 interview with NPR, in which she talked about arranged marriage in Hindu societies, her father's choice of husband for her, how she dared to break parental rules, her 2002 novel, Desirable Daughters, the conflict between traditional India and modernity, her struggle with the immigrant experience, and her view upon women's condition and being an Indian-born American writer. Write down anything that you notice as particularly interesting or impressive.
24 comments:
I like this interview the most. : )
In the beginning of the interview, I feel interested about Mukherjee’s nephew, because he who is an MBA in USA can marry a wife just by internet!! I can’t imagine there was a person hanging on the tradition-arranged married in 21st century vision, and merely as Mukherjee’s said, he wants to avoid chaos of emotional ups and downs? Why he needs that certainty? It’s out of the question for me to get married with someone before no affection between us. I can only say that everyone is influenced a lot by the growth environment, but it’s not applied to Mukherjee. She was born in an upper middle-class family, and she came out of such a protected world, because she was kept away from any possibilities of breaking rules and thinking bad thought like in the way as a bubble wrapped innocence. However, when she went to America, she tried out to find her own personality. In my opinion, she’s also a dramatic woman while she chose to marry a man whom she got together with only in few weeks. Maybe just for out of the ordinary as Indian, she knows she has to let something go and then, finally, could bring home the bacons successfully. I’m a little bewildered why the Indian adolescent should always obey their parents command though the home life is really separated in Hindu? Possibilities are being strangled by traditional pressures, right? It’s very amusing about Mukherjee’s school life in convent that there were two main courses: elocution and table manners. By writing some stories, she can live in her own fantasyland. I feel it’s the remarkable power as a writer to project her mind within characters, like a magician, she could do whatever she wants.
Let’s talk about something in seriousness. She spent 14 years in Canada, and there were some of the most trying of her life, as she found herself against discrimination, as a member of the "visible minority." Someone with brown face in cities feared physical harassment on the street, but the government didn’t react to the backlash against brown residents. There was no legal redress. It made her reassess about her status or attitude toward minorities in India, how unconscious on races or ethics she may have been in herself related to Indian minorities. If I was her, I would think there is no earthly reason to live here as inferior; moreover, I had a wealthy elite family and higher social position in Hindu. She thought her ideas matter just like the gassiness to take government on immigrants’ suffering; notwithstanding, she did not evade facing the devastated problem. She tried to tell the government to do something right, but no use, even she was caught by two laws, too confident and impudent. Unbelievable!! Maybe it was after the failure of the attempt that she resorted to writing, so she explores the biased Canadian view towards immigrants that she encountered, as well as how government agencies handled assaults on particular races. She still struggle with identity. Finally, she located in America which is a free country I think. She maintains that she is an American writer of Indian origin, she said, not because she’s betraying or distorting or ashamed of her past, but because her whole adult life has been lived here, and she writes about the people who are immigrants going through the process of making a home here. She writes in the tradition of immigrant experience rather than nostalgia and expatriation. I consider that because of the distinctly different experiences she has had throughout life, kaleidoscopic phases of life, she has penetrative eyes with which to view the world and fuses her several lives and backgrounds together with the intention of creating “new immigrant” literature.
It’s hard to image that how can a marriage be arranged. You may know a person less three times, and then you will get married. It is really weird and I can totally not accept this kind of relationship. Like ancient China, parents found spouses for their children who had already haven a lover. However, parents will force them to do so; therefore, the couples will run away, obey or kill themselves. A lot of stories depend on this. Bharati Mukherjee is a person who doesn’t follow the culture and found her husband who is not an Indian. I think she is a brave woman and it’s not easy to disobey parents, families and culture. Furthermore, in Canada at that time, brown face people were not respected, so I think she is special. In Taiwan, there a lot of workers form south-eastern countries, and some Taiwanese regard them as slaves. It’s not fair because they are here just for living, and we have no right to treat them like this. If we don’t respect people from different counties, our country will become not only a notorious place for working but also everything.
I believed that culture and tradition will change with time. In the past India, this might be an unacceptable thing that disobey the marriage that parents manage for. But, I believe that this kind of example will increase morer and more in the future.Bharati Mukherjee choose to determinte her marriage and life by her own rather than listen her father's words to marry a stranger. It always needs time when people want to change something people are used to follow in the past.
Arrangement marriage is still very common in Indian; her parents decided her mate as the custom did, but her consciousness told her no. By sending an e-mail to her father, read, when you see this mail, I'm already married. What a creative way! Which also indicated that she was a person who didn't afraid to break rules. As could be expected, her parents was very devastated about it. Actually, all of her sisters and herself went their own way not to obey the custom of arrangement mate. One of her sibiling lived in Indian, she made herself a bridge between modern Indian and her father. She also said that sexuality is a good way to imply revolution. I can tell from this interview that Bharati Mukherjee is a very vivid and humerous peron. She shares her experiences very generously. And she also has many thinking in various topics.
In Chinese history, there were also a period of time that had had this tradition of arranged marriage. It is really hard to imagine that in the past people get married without knowing each other well. If I were the people ing the past, I must go crazy because I can't bear living with a stranger and I have to take care of hime and cook meals for him. SoI really appriciate Bharati Mukherjee's way of avoiding the marriage that her parent arranged for her because it would not cause quarrels between them(because she wrote in the letter)and it is acceptable. But I think this kind of marriage will not happen to me because my parents both don't want me to get marreid.
During the whole interview, I was amazed by Mukherjee’s nephew, who is an MBA in the United States still get an arranged marriage. What shocked me the most is that he got the entire process simply by the Internet! From my point of view, it is 21 century tradition and also a contradictory. Marriage is a serious matter and it needs responsibilities. It shouldn’t be done in a hasty way.
Mukherjee’s said, his nephew wants to avoid chaos of emotional ups and downs. Marriage is a form to secure the relationship. I think it does need love to secure the relationship between couples.
I am very agree the behavior that Bharati Mukher rebels her parents and choose to marry with a foreigner, though the behavior was not accepted by her parents. I think that people have the right to love, and they also have the right to choose their lover. I can’t image what my life would become to if I live with a person who was arranged by my parents, and I never see him before. If my parents do such thing just for following the traditional custom, I think that I would also against it.
From the movie the “The Namesake” and novels written by Indian writer such Jumpa Lahiri or Bharati Mukherjee, I realize that even in the 21st century the arranged marriage is still very popular in India. Indian parents like to pick and choose the ideal spouse for their next generation, there are still a lot of Indians born in America for high educated obey their parents’ order to marry with whom they are not familiar with. I think Bharati Mukherjee is a brave and an independent woman for she dares to break the traditional rules, while her nymphs in the U.S.A. are arranged by their parents to have dates via modern technology such as internet and e-mail.
I have read“The Management of Grief”, and I can feel strong that Bharati Mukherjee want to tell us about some India cultures through the story. When I read this story, the most impressed me is the cultures of Indian marriage. In India, it seems common that arents arrange marriage for their children; nonetheless, Bhrati Mukherjee break this custom and take a option to live with her lover. If I am Bharati Mukherjee, I would make the same choice as well. As far as I’m concerned, love is the foundation of marriage. It’s about the commitment and responsibility between two person. People have right to seek after their happiness.
The arrangement marriage is a very common tradition in Indian, and their parents choose a person who they think is good for their children although sometimes they don’t who they are. Take The Namesake for example: the female character gets married with the person who she don’t know at all. Although in India this costume is very famous, our writer-Mukherjee rebel her parents and get marry with her classmate. But I agree with the action of Mukherjee, I think she wants to change the tradition of the arrangement marriage, which is unfair to everybody who have their love. I think Mukherjee is a brave and modern woman, and I think it is the power for her to write the marvelous novels which attract most of people.
Bharatu Mukherjee broke the tradition. For me, I can't image that arranged marriage still exist in modern times; however, it seems to be common in today's India. I think that the author want to get away the tradition because it's a symbol of perusing freedom of her life. She try to tell many women in India that the marriage is hold on their hands; they should protect their rights. And literature makes people realize India women's sorrow and also what their attitude of family members. I love the movie "The Namesake" because it touch my heart. the treasure of family values can be string or weak.
I feel it is a long way for anybody who start to get along with people in another country. Because, sometimes we have to think did we do the same thing before? I think when I meet foreign people, I always feel nervous and worried about whether he or she can speak or not. I remembered I once met a Korean people, he asked me how can he go the Macdonalds' . At the first time, I just couldn't get what's his meaning. But I try many times, finally, I told him the way. I think it is inevitable to feel a little bit to communicate to foreign people, for the reason that we can't express our own feelings. Therefore, it could lead to some problems. I consuder it takes more time to meet and understand people.
The "arranged marriage" is a specific culture in India,and it still exist in few places now.In the free are like now,this special culture makes me really amazing,for marriage is such an important thing in one's life,hoe can it be arranged;however,it still has it's values to exist,because "arranged marriage"is a culture.It seems that every Indian women would be arranged to marry again if her husbands died.But in the "The Arrangement Of Grieg",written by Bharati Mukherjee,the heroine rejects the arrangement and go travelling abroad;it also happens in the author's real life,reflecting the author's inner thought.It not only aubverts the tradition but also show the author's,a woman's,self-consciousness in marriage.
I like the way that Mukherjee expresses through the interview .She shows a bright attitude and a deep wisdom towards life .She is also the author who is in my charge .My first knowing her is by the colorful experiences she had in her young age .I have to say that I like her so much！
Arranging marriage is a issue we discussed .Thought all of us can’t believe this old-fashioned tradition still exists in nowadays ,I somehow think it is also a culture representation of the inner Hindu society .We have no right to attack how bad it is .But I am curious about the feeling people who are arranged marriage by their parents .How can they fall in love only by the e-mails？！It seems too magical for modern people .In my opinion ,I absolutely won’t accept to marry a stranger .It is so weird and unsure .
On the other hand ,I can see the strong connect in every Indian families .They all have connected each other .Then it becomes a huge net of safety in everywhere .
The arranged marriage is still common in the Indian. The children have to marry to the people that the parents choose for them. They may not even meet each other before. And in the ancient China, the arranged marriage is common, too. In many famous China stories, it’s hard to disobey the command of parents and to marry to the person not chosen by the parents. The poor lovers will elope or commit suicide to fight against the parents and the tradition passively. In “The Management of Grief”, Bharati Mukherjee writes the struggle of the narrator that she is not happy in her arranged marriage. And I think this is also the author’s point. She doesn’t think the arranged marriage can be happy and she wants to against this kind of marriage. She wants to fight for the freedom of her marriage. She wants to pursue her own marriage, not the arranged marriage.
I am very surprised to know that Bharati Mukherjee rebelled the arranged marriage, which is one of the main customs in Indian culture. However, I think she was very brave to do such a rebellion, and I appreciate her courage to pursue her true love rather than the selected one. Besides, her fiction is not actually about the contradiction between two cultures; instead, she wrote the story as a way of charging the custom of her own country. Therefore, I think the sentence “For me, my fiction is a way to get in touch with my inner bad girl.” is a very funny but real description of herself; I think her different type of immigrant literature is very interesting.
Marrying with a woman or man without meeting or having meetings within three times is unbelievable in my opinion though we had heard that our grandparents used this way to get married. In that time, women had no rights to choose their favorite ways to live. The only way to live in the society was getting married. However, women today had their jobs, thinking…. They will not mind what their family’s asks. Nevertheless, most of us live in the confliction between the modern and traditional society or culture. We want to obey our family’s asks and have our rights at the same time.
At first, I couldn’t believe that the arrange marriage is still happening nowadays. But later I learned that India is a country of tradition. I am very impressed when Mukherjee talked about her nephew who went on an arrange marriage via internet! I think it is a conflict between tradition and modern. I am also surprised that following tradition doesn’t have much to do with education. Just like Mukherjee’s nephew, people who reach high education tend to follow the Indian tradition as well. I admire Mukherjee for expressing her real thoughts, especially to rebel against her parents. She got married with her classmate during lunch break, which is something that even a normal person wouldn’t do! Just as she said, ‘‘my fiction is a way to get in touch with my inner bad girl.’’ It is hard to imagine what kind of repression she had gone through for her to make such a decision, and maybe all of a sudden she realized that she should fight for her own life.
It is an interesting mix, a tradition and modern technology. They have an arrange marriage through Internet. What a contrast! I think traditions in some way are still important to people, especially those they leave their country, living in a totally different country. Obeying traditions is the way to be accepted by their mother country, culture. I also find something interesting in the interview: Bharati Mukherjee came from an elite, reputable family in Kolkata , but after she came to Canada her brown skin made her be treated like an inferior person . She said that she felt totally devastated to be seemed as an unwanted Canadian, pretended burglar and minority. I think this kind of situation can be similar to Taiwanese. We think we are superior to those foreign labors from Southeast Asia; however, when we go to western country such as USA, Canada, Europe, we might be regarded as what we thought about those foreign labors in Taiwan. People around the world should show more respect to each other, we should not judge a person by his color or where he comes from. We should knock down those stupid racial stereotypes, and discriminations.
When we read about history of Chinese, we can find there are many examples about arranged marriage. I think people arrange marriages because they are afraid of being alone. Gradually, it become an regulation. I believe people in nowadays feel arrange marriages are ridiculous, for now is a generation of freedom. I also think that Bharati Mukherjee is brave, for she are dare to break the regulations and find her own marriage. I think the conflicts will be more serious in the future because we accept new and innovation ideas everytime and everywhere. I believe this is the main problems we should deal with, for we gradually get into and new generation.
When we watch the movie "the Namesake", we know that in indian culture, the parents arranges the marriage to their children. This is the same as Chinese history, when the girl who didn't want to marry the man her parents arranged, she escaped with the man she liked.
I can't imagine I'm going to marry a guy that my parents have chosen for me and I don't even see him before or know anything about him. How crazy it is!
The author tells the way how she rejects the marriage. She sent a cable to her father saying that by the time he gets this she's already been married. Although this way is drastic, maybe this is the best way to inform her parents the will that she doesn't want to get married with the person she doesnt't love.
I am amazed that there is still have arranged marriage in India; moreover, it’s a kind of traditional rule. I think Mukherjee is very brave to rebel her father’s decision. If I were born in that kind of culture, I think I would not have the self-conscious to break any conventional rules. However, now we are in the 21century, I think we should think more and make some changes for ourselves. During the interview, Mukherjee mentioned that her nephew, who is an MBA, still has an arranged marriage. From my point of view, it’s not a wise choice to get marry with a one person that you couldn’t understand thoroughly. I think marriage is an important thing concern whole life, everybody should be more careful when facing this subject.
21 century arranged marriage!
It sounds interesting, but I wonder how some Indian claim that love only blosom after marriage?
I decided that I must read the "Desirable daughter" by Bharati Mukherjee this winter vacation, for it the work is too attractive to me because the story is a story about rebellion. For people like me, rebellion
is a custom and to be creative.
I think arranged marriage is really not a good idea. We had watched the movie "The Namesake"in class, and I saw how the Indian parents arranged their children's marriage. Luckily, I born in modern society, and I am from an enlightened Taiwanese family. I don't have to marry with a guy who I don't even know.
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