In today's class, we talked about the traumatic memories of someone who lived a wartime childhood in England. The story of Penny and Primrose is the story of different adaptations to traumatic events. The "thing" they witnessed in the forest is the combination of many things: it is historical terror; it is death; it is an embodiment of pain and of misery. Like traumatized people, Penny and Primrose were haunted by the horrible creature they had witnessed in the woods and found it difficult to find a language that conveys fully and persuasively what they had seen. Penny grew up to become a child psychologist, while Primrose became a storyteller who entertained children at kindergartens and shopping malls. They represent the different ways peopel dealing with trauma. Primrose used the act of storytelling as part of her healing process. For her, "sharing is solace" (42)--in other words, telling stories is an act of sharing which can create a sense of community. Storytelling can assuage pain. However, for Penny, "sharing" is not solace. She prefers approaching truma solitarily; she chooses to re-enter the woods to confront the source of the terror and to relive the event.
Here comes the question. Horrible events refuse to be buried. What would you do to cope with trauma if you were in their situation? What if you were in their shoes?
29 comments:
The trauma, yes, is always hard to deal with. To be honest, I ain't really a friend of story-telling in terms of trauma; I had trauma before and a dramatic one, it just happen that either people you are telling doesn't get alone with the feeling and treat it as a joke and come up with questions in the wrong tone and wrong time, or they're simply just lack of interest in tragedy. Perhaps the suituation I've mention above is a little bit extrem, but for such a deep trauma like the one in the story, is definitely uneasy for both the teller and the listener.
As for facing it driectly, is just as painful as facing the mistaken audience. Chances are that you stuck in trauma on and on with the feeling of next to nothing hope, which has a fairy high percentage that leads to suicide. People tend to think about the bad side when they are alone, this isn't the ideal way to deal with trauma I'm afriad I have to say.
So both ways got its draw back, what should be done to deal with trauma? There is really no ultimate answer to that, but psychiatrist will probably tell you to share is better than to bear. As for my perference, I prefer to share than to bear; why pick on yourselves when you can lower the burden? But it seems that I'm doing the oppsite more often. Let's just face it: trauma are tough, and what ever you do is only dragging yourselves from the edge of death and hope the time will wash away the scar.
There is no denying that nobody wants to encounter trauma, but sometimes something happens for no reasons. We can’t erase the wound in a normal situation because it always roots in our minds. Therefore, how to cope with the scar is the most important thing. People usually said that the only thing we can do is not to blame God and man, and what else?
As far as I’m concerned, I will choose to evade facing the pain when I’m hit seriously. I’m under the illusion that I can relieve more by giving an absurd the whys and wherefores to convince myself why I have to experience the misery. It’ll only take a short time to go through this dull phase, because I feel lonely and always ask myself what the reality is going to be. Then I find out the reality, that is, the trauma is definitely becoming one part of my life. I have to admit, recognize and finally accept it. At this stage, I try hard to share my wound instead of confronting it only by myself. No matter how sad or frightened or suffering I am, I can lay down the burden little by little when I partake of the scar. Someone told me that if you can share the trauma with perfect composure, it means, you really go out of the wound and grow to maturity with it. Maybe it will be endowed with meaningfulness to your life one day.
In my situation, I would prefer to write it down. I feel I gain some power to confront my fear, my trauma, when I do the writing. I can put my perspective into the main character, I can also control the result. Maybe at the end of the story goes the hero defeated the "thing". In some way, it consoles my heart.
By no means will I go back to the forest, unless someone I trust keep my company, then maybe I will give it a try to undergo the "thing" again, to find out what is really going on there, to see the essences behind the fear, instead of escaping.
Trauma, tragedy will happen in our life again and again, whether you are willing to accept it or not. Besides writing, I will also think positively to help myself get over trauma. Try to think it may be a trial that is sent to cultivate your mind, and your attitude toward life. One needs to be brave and optimistic, thus, he/she won't be frustrated by them.
I am actually not a person who always faces to problem, instead, I usually avoid them. Nevertheless, as I grew older, I realized that it's a terrible way to deal with problems and things might be worse if I chose to shirk.
I am sentimental, emotional, and sensitive, especially when I face the problems with my girlfriend. Sometimes I find problems between with her but I chose to shirk instead of talk to her and solve the problem. Nevertheless as time goes on, those problems turned out to be the reasons we brake up. I would then avoid people around me instead of telling them what had happened. Friends then gave up to care about me. I became more lonely.
I will say I am maturer and I will choose to talk to people about my vexation. That will make me feel much more better and maybe others may have good solutions to deal with my problems. It is what I should do to face the problems instead of avoid them. I will try harder from now.
To me, I will face the trauma directly. I think if I avoid it,I will be more and more painful. Actually, I don't believe that time heals everything; instead, only by my volitions can I recover from the trauma.Although it is painful to face the trauma directly, I know if I just run away and the situation will be worse finally.
To be honest,I am a person who will dependent on others; however, I will face the trauma myself. If my friends or my families help me, I still feel lonely and alienated.I know they want to help me, but I think they can't fully understand what I am thinking about. At that time, i will talk to myself.To know what is true and fake is a way for me to understand myself. Until I fully understand my feelings, to recover from the trauma will not be strenuous.
Recover a trauma need time-as everyone says time can cure everything . I had had a trauma sinece I was 10 , yet it seems never be cured all . The trauma , it's my father-my father's death . Maybe most poeple heard that might be upset or shoke , and they did not kown what to say or just says I am sorry about that , don`t be sad . As time goes by , actually , I really feel no pain . But it's a feeling , like losing something for a long time , hard to discribe . 10-year-old is a childhood , I did not realize that what is mean my father has passed by , to be honest . But when I grew up and got mature gradually , I feel it more deeper , but the truth I know is more uncertain . I mean , someyimes I would consider that my dad did not die , he is just gone . Maybe it's a real trauma-buried in my deepies mind .
But I an not a negative girl . whether my father's death is true or not to me , I am happy and have my own life , at least . I do not know if I really recover from my trauma , but it's just a pass . We all need to face the sunshine , not just hide in the trauma ever hurt us .
To tell the truth,I am facing a trauma.Not only it is mine but also my whole family.It is hard to say what happened between my grandmom,my parents,and my aunt.In a short,my grandmom hasn't done the fairness between my dad and my aunt since they were child.When my mom married my dad,she did the same thing.she spoiled my aunt and my aunt become what she is-the most hateful woman in the world. My mom said when she saw my grandmom laid in the bed and couldn't eat like normal people,her trauma was little be comforted.Maybe it is her guilt that it's time to suffer.In my mind,I know this trauma never disappears.My parents just wanted to run away with the whole thing.They don't want my brother and me to know the sorrow past;what my aunt did was their noghtmare.
How do I face it?I can't find right now.However,I am glad that my friend still support me and listen to me .my family and friends let me realize no matter what happened ,they will be on my side. I sometimes cry about all happenings by myself.It makes me feel better and suddenly I know I have to fight to protect my family.Though I have no power,I believe there is somnthing I can do.This trauma still exist,and I can't deny it.In reality,I don't think that time heals everything.It just the way people don't want to face the problems and the way they try to forget the sadness.
The trauma is so difficult to cope with .There are many different levels in it. Some of them are collective traumas; others are just a personal one. It’s hard to define what a trauma is. I think trauma is something that you don’t know how to get over it, and even reluctant to face it.
I am a sensitive and emotional girl, so if I were in their shoes, it would definitely be a big trouble for me. To me, I would choose to face it like what Primrose did. In my opinion, the best way to cope with the trauma is to say it out loud. I would find someone I trust and tell him/her what’s going on. I think through the process that I share my feeling and pain; I am somehow released and have self-healing,
even the person who I talked to just listening quietly, nodding his/her head as a response of understanding. It makes me feel better. Trauma is just like a monster.
If you just ignore it and leave it in the deepest part of your heart, it would not disappear by itself; instead, it would get stronger and overwhelm you whenever you come up with it.
It’s a big question for everyone to deal with the trauma. In my opinion, everyone knows how to cope with it; however, when we actually meet them, we will lose our sense, and do more and more thing which we will feel stupid after the events. Why? I think it’s humanity that induces us to do it.
What will I do when I meet the trauma? I think I will escape it. I’m a timid boy; I dare not face the truth. Although I know it is mistakes, I can’t help escaping it. After time shave off this memory, the pain will erase. Even though it is temporary, I think it is the best way to do.
Now this conception still lives in my mind; I think it symbolizes I’m not mature enough to face it. But I actually can know one thing I experienced before won’t change – people always know what they should, they can say wonderfully; however, when we face it, we will be stupid, isn’t it?
I think if I was one of the characters in the story,I would like Primrose.When I in sorrow or feel pain ,I usually tell other people .Because I think this is my way to relieve my hurt,I feel it is difficult that heal the trauma by their own.If I was alone and at the same time ,I come with something bad.There is no body talk to,the bad thing and sad or scared mood would let me feel very terrified .Because they just like surrounded by me and I have no place to go.However,it is very contradictory.When I try to share the thing to friends ,it'll just like remind myself the bad thing.
Life is compared to a journey. In this long journey, it fills with lots of difficulties and adversities. Also, trauma might be happen in the daily lives. How to deal with it is a vital part we need to learn. If I confront with unfortunate things, I would choose to be like Primrose, not Penny. Because I can not burry this horrible events in my mind forever, I will want to share with others and ask for their help. I would talk to my parents, teachers and friends. Even they can not offer the advice. I still need their
accompany with me. I think it is better to overcome the misfortune things with others, not just solve it on your own.
I have ever confronted the trauma that I thought I couldn't overcome that time. My grandfather passed away last year. Everyone should have suffered from these sad matters; nonetheless, when this did happen, few people can endure and pass it. My grandfather is a gentle and kind man. He often brought fruits and snacks to me
and my brother. When I have something agonizing, he was the one who I would talk to. In my mind, my grandfather acted as not only my elder but also my friend. Nevertheless, he passed away last year. I have been distressed and sad for a while.
In my opinion, I believe that time can heal the wound. Even if the strong feeling or affection may gradually disappear one day. While I encounter the trauma, I will not escape it. As the proverb goes," Don't burry the head into the sand." I usually bear this saying in mind. I would do my best to put it in effect in my daily
life.
In order to find the original point of the trauma, I will face to it. First of all, I will try to use some ways to research where the trauma is and why the trauma happened by myself. Moreover, tell to my friends and parents my problem and tell them what help I need from them. Nevertheless, I admire Penny’s decision because it should be brave and independent. Elders always suggest us to be independent as soon as we can. Nobody can know what we want, think, and fell clearly. Nowadays, all of us have not only opportunities to make decisions by ourselves but also have obligations to complete it.
When I am facing a difficulty, I would usually spend a lot of time on thinking what I should do next. I often found out that the best thing to do is to resolve the problem itself. So I think I am more like Primrose when dealing with difficulties and problems.
Nevertheless, suffering from a trauma is something that is totally different. The severe pain in one’s mind needs time to recover. If I were to cope with the trauma, I would choose Penny’s way. It is hard for me to face the trauma again after I have already been hurt; it is just like expose my scar to the air. I need time to meet new friends and get into a new environment in order to wash away all the tragedies. In fact, I always want to be independent and mature, but I am just like a child especially when I am vulnerable. It makes me comfortable if there’s someone who can simply listen to how I feel, and give me his or her approval. Hopefully, after all of the efforts, tomorrow will be a better day.
If I were Penny or Primrose, I might choose to face the problem instead of ignoring it. Although it is difficult to do so, it can give me relief. However, I won’t go into the wood by myself just to make sure whether the monster exists or not.
Perhaps, I might choose some better ways to heal my trauma. For instance, sharing my feeling with someone I trusted. Drawing pictures of what I saw or writing that down. I will be in the good mood after I find a good way to realize my pain.
Facing the trauma doesn’t mean find the monster. It is about dealing the fear from deep inside.
I have been through some bad situations. At the beginning of it, I fled away and didn't want to touch that part and had it put in the end of my mind. I thought I would be better without thinking about it. When the time passed by, the problem was still there and I didn't feel better. It seemed to get worse sometimes. Then, I learned to face the music. It's the best way to deal with the problem though it may be hard and miserable.
If I were the characters in the book, I would prefer to be Primrose. As I said, I will face the problem.
If I was confronted with the trauma like Penny and Primrose, I think that I wouldn’t mention it to anyone else, neither adults nor other kids, because people preferred ignoring it to believing it especially at the hard wartime. When people are at the state of external upheaval, they wouldn’t like to accept a more traumatic thing as long as they don’t encounter it in person. As a result, there is no need to make others frightened. What I will do is keep the thing in mind at first and live as usual, but sometimes I may ask myself if I really see it. I suppose that when time passes by, the memory of the thing will be taken away gradually. However, if I drop in a terrible situation, the image of the thing will come into mind again and then I’ll believe that what I saw is real. This can cause fear and pain to me. At last, I think the best thing to do is to face it once again in order to make sure what bothers me a lot. Hence, I can think about whether there is another way that I can do to recover from it.
It's easy to tell your friend that you had a fight with someone. But when facing things really hurt, all things become complex, and heard to think about. It's hard to talk to other people while your heart is bleeding, so I always believe that time is the best medicine to heal traumas. It may be negative without dealing with difficulties immediately, but not everyone should be a fighter.
Instead of beating what cause my trauma, I prefer to accept that as times goes by. When some day I feel okay to talk about that, I’ll do it. By telling the story, it can make people feel that they can control what had happen to them. So if I was the one who walked into in the forest. I may tell somebody the thing I saw after few years; however, I would never be in the forest again.
Traumatic memories are difficult to deal with, and it needs being helped by others. However, the only one can help mostly is self. I think I have a blissful family, and I don’t have terror memories in my childhood like the story. If I have trauma like this, I would face it. The problem will not disappear until you start to solve it or it will haunt in your mind everyday. You may forget it, but it will still exist. Sometimes, we need to fight with it for a long time and can’t escape. I’ll remember it forever and there must be a scar in heart. I hope I will have enough courage when I encounter this situation and I will try to recover. I think this is the best I can do.
If I were in their shoes, I would choose what Primrose did. I would become a story teller to share my horrible experience to others, and I don’t want to have the same experience anymore because I can’t bear them. Whenever I recall those scary scenes I would feel awful, not to mention to get into the forest where I don’t like at all and then discover what it is in the wood. Since there are no extreme traumas in my life by so far, I can not tell what my reaction can be when I encounter them. I think I am not mature enough to solve those horrible experiences, so maybe I will find someone to share and appease my trauma or I might break down for being under a great pressure which those unhappy experiences had brought me.
I keep the trauma in mind.
Actually, it's difficult to me to leave it behind because it is always there.
Primrose uses the acts of storytelling to heal her pain.
Since I am not good at telling stories, I will only share to those people who care about me.
Penny can face the thing in the forest,
but I don’t think I can face and conquer the trauma when I came across in real life.
However, I try to learn from it.
I realize that my attitude toward things and people is taking them for granted.
"Don't consider everything to be permanent"my sister once said.
As time passes by, only the memory of the trauma fade away.
Yet, the pain caused by the trauma still is haunted.
To myself, I prefer to talk about the trauma I have faced before. When I told my friends about my stories, I felt a sense of belonging. I felt like as if they were in those situations with me and stood by my side to support me. Even though they may be not understood about the situation very clearly, they would listen carefully and console me. The action of my friends made me feel that I was not alone. I had my faithful and considerate friends to be with. Because of that feeling, I had courage to face the trauma and handle it. I think, when I tell my friends about the trauma, this sharing action is the best way to release myself from the trauma. So if my friends had trauma, I would like to encourage her to tell her story to me. I think the sharing is the best way to release from the trauma.
I am not a tough girl at all. When I have something unhappy, I just flee. Try my best to forget it. It is not work at all because I never think to face and solve the problem. So it always because a nightmare. I know I can’t be an escapist, but actions is more difficult than words. Therefore, if I were in their situation, I think I maybe go crazy.
I think trauma is very difficult to be comfort. Ever thought Penny is a psychologist, she also can’t find a good idea to deal with.
For me, I don't want to only assuage pain, I long to completely relieve it (or remain it as it was) instead. So, I think that I would choose to approach the trauma solitarily like what Penny did in the end of the story. Really, horrible events refuse to be buried, but how can others fully understand the pain which you bear? Sharing may help us ease our pain because we will think that there is someone know what we came through, but it can only make us feeling a little bit better.
Even though it will be tough for us to face the trauma as we might stuck in it and feel hopeless, I
still believe in strong will which we can use as the most powerful weapon to cope with the trauma.
The word “trauma” is too difficult to cope with .Once you had experienced it ,it may grow up and be with you in the rest of your life .The wound will possibly seem to passed away ,however the effect after the hurt is really bugging all the time .
Take me for an example ,my life was very smooth before thirteen years old .Everything was in my control .I was the first-class one .After going to the junior high school ,I went to join the P.E class becoming a volleyball player .Because I was better than others ,I became the person who took charges for the grade .I faced a series of awful situations later .For me ,I felt like my world was collapsed immediately .Have you ever had a experience of losing something you hold tightly in hands before？I am the first one to deny myself and close my mind with despair .
Until now ,everytime I think of the memory in that age my heart is still can’t feel better .With tears rolling down my face ,I suddenly know that it never passes away .In fact, the truth is just that I finally know how to put in my back and go on .That is the why I always use a big cry to release the sorrow .It is too hurt to tell ,even a leave can’t be liberated .
I think after I read this story again and again. I gradually could integrate into the story. Because the image in the forest is very strange. It could only be imagined in mind. I feel scared and complicated when I read through every words. I think it is a good way to express what feeling by metaphor. I think it is much more interesting to said straightly. It can make me think over clearly. And I could be a detective to search what hide in words.
To be honest, I am not a person who always be brave to traumas. When I am in trauma, first I would choose not to face it. I would hide these things in my mind, pretending that I don't care about it. Bit people know me would know my true feeling and try to make me tell what my thought really is. When someday I can talk about these things without tears or anger, that means I already recover from the trauma. Even though it is quite difficult to deal with trauma, time will cure any pain.
Different people have their own ways dealing with trauma.As for myself,I would choose to share with somebody else rather than carrying the burden alone.However,my actions seems to be totally oppisite.The truth is,selecting the wrong person to be the listener could probably make the situation worse.I'm just too scared to take that risk,so I still face my pains and sorrows by myself.Trauma is like a shadow overhead,sooner or later we have to find a way to walk out of it.Otherwise,we will always feel depressed and gloomy,I saw a research once that a person's mental condition can actually influence their physical status.If that's really the case,why not free ourselves from endless torment?No matter what kind of solution,as long as one still has the will to live.
When I am depressed or be hurt by something, I would try to tell my friend who I trust in or to do something else to stop thinking of it. I think it is very important to find an exit to release. If one put too much things in his/her mind, he/ she will get more and more unhappy. It is really unhealthy. If I were in the shoes of them, I would try to face my fear, accept it, and forget it gradually.
Trauma is a difficult problems for us to deal with. If I encounter the trauma,I really don't have the couragement just like Penny to face the thing again. If I were in their shoes, I think I may choose to hide the thing in the deepest part in my mind instead of sharing it with other people around me.
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